I'm really confused

Wow. I haven't blogged in a while!! This is my first post in...how many weeks? Idk, I'm really not sure! I guess a part of me always thought it was ok. Just play it down, play it cool, and no one would notice you. Honestly, I didn't want that. I didn't exactly want to be the invisible one...although there are people who are worse off than I am. Still, I guess I'm more afraid of being disliked. I don't know if I'm making sense at this moment, and it isn't like anyone is going to read this anyway so it doesn't really matter. I want to ask, but I'm scared of asking. After all, I was asked to read it...about a couple months ago and I just never did!! I don't know why. Was I too busy? Not really. At least, I would have had the free time to read if I did. What was I so scared of? I respect privacy, but that's just an excuse since I just read it today. Now I'm bothered. Bothered for a guy?! This isn't like me. Everyday, I told myself to get all these unnecessary thoughts out of my head and concentrate. If I don't do that, then I mess up my day. I think and think and think and think, and just waste my time. That's my problem...I think waay too much and do so little! This post made no sense, but I guess all I really need is to vent. I should probably delete this later...